12/30/20

 The last real full day of the year and let me tell you what a fucking awful horrendous shit show it has been. I don't even know where to begin. So I am going to make a list...

• COVID-19 Outbreak (that in itself explains it)
• Covid caused people to literally fight over toilet paper and we have been wearing masks for months
• lost/quit my job of close to 3 years at Petsmart's grooming salon
• James, my boyfriend, of 3 years broke up with me only to regret it
• I met someone new whom I've never clicked like this before, Jarod 
• Stuck in a horrendous love triangle with two men who want to marry me
• Still don't know if I am making the right decision on the whole love triangle dealio
• Got a very asshole-ish, sweet kitty named Spyro
• Spyro broke in to my leopard gecko Tofu's cage, she died the following morning on Christmas
• My grandma (on my dad's side) passed away after years of hiding dementia 
• Haven't introduced my lovely dog (who is 4) Munchkin whom is my heart dog
• Lost so many friends due to me and James breaking up and struggling to make friends
• Had a old co-worker Mia whom had an asthma attack and was pulled from life support
• I got fat but have been slowly losing weight went from 170 down to 140 so far
• Still haven't gotten my teeth fixed
• I pay for my own apartment and have been doing it even jobless for a couple months now
• I smoke so much weed and vape... and have been smoking lately (RIP LUNGS)

2/4/20

Holy fucking shit where the hell do I start?

My life could be a fucking novel to be honest and I might actually do that some day because that sounds like an amazing and very accurate book that people would totally love.

SOOOOOOOO... I guess I will tell it in parts.

UPDATE NOVELLA:
Chapter One: Drew

I wasted years on Drew. He turned me in to something. I still am not sure on whether or not that something is bad or good... or just "there". We did many things together, I had sex for the first time (willingly, we can get in to what was not willingly later ... maybe...) with Drew. He lived with a really nice kid and his weird (probably druggie) parents. Who willingly gave a minor (me) cigarettes and pretty much smoked more combined then us three. That was when my life took a turn. We started dating...
We two got cats together Illusion or Loulou for short. He was the best. He really could understand what people were saying. Arwen was the second and he was bottle fed from two weeks old by me every 2-4 hours, and stimulated to go potty by me. Drew ended up just throwing them in the shelter without telling me a few years later after breaking up even though he swore he'd tell me if he ever got rid of them.

I lived with him twice. The first time in a tiny one bedroom apartment. I did all the cleaning and cooking and he worked. It was great for a while until it wasn't. He started getting drunk and then getting violent. Violently trying to commit suicide by dunking his head in a toilet. Violent to the point where he hit me. A few nights later it was a kitchen knife followed by him grabbing his pocket knife and stabbing himself in the chest in the middle of the night.... in the middle of the street.

I was stupid enough to again try again with him this time in a house with six other people all the while I went to school (a SENIOR in HIGH SCHOOL!). He stayed up all night partying while I tried desperately to get enough sleep for work. He would force me to walk in the freezing cold because he didn't want to drive me. He partied on all sorts of drugs and alcohol; weed, LSD, shrooms, acid, and his favorite (soon to find out my least favorite of his drugs) Molly. He was violent on Molly which turns out was what he was doing when he was with me the first time. The best part about this Molly? Laced with the ol' Meth. The only drug I ever partook in was the Devil's Wonderful Lettuce.

Then he broke up with me over the phone at work, and I miscarried his child. He said he was glad it happened, but I was heartbroken. That was the final straw that broke the camel's back. I haven't heard from him since.

10/14/2014

Hey everybody,
Life pretty much sucks lol.
Josh broke up with me, did I say that?
Drew is visiting me lunch... I'm actually super excited.

9/15/2014

Jon is a lying cheater, just saying.
I've been dating this 21 year old Josh for about 3 weeks, it's been pretty great but he ALSO leaves for basic in October. Maybe we'll last? Hopefully.

I think I'm going to fill my days with meaningless banter, tumblr, and ideas to be creative in outfits and such. I also need to start losing weight again because is a fat ass. Haylee and me are over with, I think about her now and then but it's over with and I can tell. Nick is a dick, and I make it apparent with how I talk to him when we do talk. I have friends now. I smoke a lot. Haven't done weed for a while though because my parents drug test me. Josh is picking me up after school, yay ^~^ My mom read me and Austin's texts last night so she knows how I like it rough. I have scratches and bruises everywhere but we haven't had sex so she can shove it. Even though honestly I'd love to. But anywhere, I'm done with this shit. Gonna go be on Tumblr because no one gives a fuck. Later ^u^

4/16/2014

So I really like this girl Emily. She is perfect and beautiful and I just ugh. Haylee barely talks to me anymore... and I just want my life to be over.

4/22/14

Sorry I haven't blogged in a while been a bit of a..
stoner. lel.
So there's this girl Emily <3 that pretty much describes that.

I got a hamster, he's black and white called a 'cookies n creme' color, and his name is Blizzard and I love him.

I feel sick right now and I want some food. Gawds I was crazy today.
Eight fucking days till my birthday... 17!!!!!!
And I have my own cig pack to myself. MERP.

Doing this first period because Profe's dad is in the hospital </3

5/29/2014

I am such a stoner.
I've partied four days in a row.
And I can't stop ;P
I did get caught but I don't give a fuck if I don't have my phone.
Haylee comes in six days :D
John leaves for basic in a month :(
And five days left of school meh .-.
Anyway going to lunch later whores.