Another visit to the psych ward... I only spent three days there.
I really tried to kill myself. Countless pills. Whiskey. I threw up blood in the toilet and then passed out. I awoke when my parents came home. They took me to the hospital. Then the psych ward...
Now I'm in Partial, which is like a daytime psych ward program. I wonder what Nick would think if he saw what I've become. It actually makes me smile. I sacrificed my sanity for his happiness, even if I'm lesbian. Just knowing he is alive and happy, and wants nothing to do with me. Kills me.
I no longer have my i-pod and limited access on the computer. So posting will be tough....
Tonight I cut, and this time it was different. I just cut deep and quick. No hesitation. My wrist still bleeds. It bleed through my bandages and for a moment I thought I'd gone too far. I used a tourniquet which happened to be a Christmas sock. Funny, three days till Christmas and I wish I were dead. Still. Three months, and still dying. But alive.
