11/3/2013

"
Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And the worst part is there's no one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me"

Pretty much describes me. I like this one girl but I'm so sickly afraid that I just lose it and forget I even like her. I hate myself. I deserve every fucking cut that ends up on my thighs. I never sleep either, just me and my thoughts. My thoughts consume me. My regrets tear me apart. You tear me apart. Yet you aren't even effected by me being gone... and I guess that just kills me even more. I want to cut myself to sleep.. and tomorrow is my suicide date. I can't chicken out not this time. I have nothing left to lose. This is it I guess. After 16 years, I am done. It honestly feels so good to say this is it. That I don't have to deal with any more shit ever again. I hope no one misses me... because missing someone hurts, at least they know it wasn't a choice in the sense even if I wanted to talk to them, I can't. I wish I could say the same...