10/14/2014

Hey everybody,
Life pretty much sucks lol.
Josh broke up with me, did I say that?
Drew is visiting me lunch... I'm actually super excited.

9/15/2014

Jon is a lying cheater, just saying.
I've been dating this 21 year old Josh for about 3 weeks, it's been pretty great but he ALSO leaves for basic in October. Maybe we'll last? Hopefully.

I think I'm going to fill my days with meaningless banter, tumblr, and ideas to be creative in outfits and such. I also need to start losing weight again because is a fat ass. Haylee and me are over with, I think about her now and then but it's over with and I can tell. Nick is a dick, and I make it apparent with how I talk to him when we do talk. I have friends now. I smoke a lot. Haven't done weed for a while though because my parents drug test me. Josh is picking me up after school, yay ^~^ My mom read me and Austin's texts last night so she knows how I like it rough. I have scratches and bruises everywhere but we haven't had sex so she can shove it. Even though honestly I'd love to. But anywhere, I'm done with this shit. Gonna go be on Tumblr because no one gives a fuck. Later ^u^

4/16/2014

So I really like this girl Emily. She is perfect and beautiful and I just ugh. Haylee barely talks to me anymore... and I just want my life to be over.

4/22/14

Sorry I haven't blogged in a while been a bit of a..
stoner. lel.
So there's this girl Emily <3 that pretty much describes that.

I got a hamster, he's black and white called a 'cookies n creme' color, and his name is Blizzard and I love him.

I feel sick right now and I want some food. Gawds I was crazy today.
Eight fucking days till my birthday... 17!!!!!!
And I have my own cig pack to myself. MERP.

Doing this first period because Profe's dad is in the hospital </3

5/29/2014

I am such a stoner.
I've partied four days in a row.
And I can't stop ;P
I did get caught but I don't give a fuck if I don't have my phone.
Haylee comes in six days :D
John leaves for basic in a month :(
And five days left of school meh .-.
Anyway going to lunch later whores.

3/22/2014

Well straight edge no more. Smoking has become a thing for me again. I currently have a cigarette in with my Pokemon cards. I've also turned to Pokemon as like my outlet. I have X and White 2. And that's just what I do. I'm still broken inside, Haylee helps but I don't think I can be fixed. I still check on Nick on Tumblr make sure he's doing alright. It's a terrible habit that pisses me off and depresses me but I always do it anyway. His stupid posts of why he's single, because when he talks. I fucking hate it. It just makes me hate myself even more. I made myself a pipe in art, and well it works. I'm probably going to end up decorating it with sharpie. I'm doing shitty in school, I cry a lot there. I'm always anxiety ridden and stressed out. Haylee is gone on like a camp trip since Friday and I miss her. Thursdays I go to the public library with Becca, John, Katie, and Kelly. But we've also had other people come like Kathan (a girl completely and utterly obsessed with my existence), Kelly's girlfriend Brianna, and Kayne. I'm bring Kayne sushi this next time, he's bring me a e-stick. Super excited! Becca and me have started kissing occasionally again, I can't decide whether I hate it, like it, love it, or am disgusted by it. I just hate life, it's too hard.

2/9/2013

It's been a long time since I posted.

I am completely and utterly done with Nick. I have no feelings left for him, except pity.

I finally told Haylee how I felt, and it went way so much better then I expected.
She loves me back, and her and Georgie are falling apart.
We talk every day and she has seriously become my whole world. She is beautiful; inside and out. My best friend. <3 My girlfriend. My princess. And eventually my wife. I dyed my hair rainbow for a while...

 

But now since I am back at Central; it's this:

Anyway I am going better with my depression but tonight has been bad, I have no clue why. I think I just need sleep but who knows? No sleep and its 6 a.m. After almost a month, I cut. I know, failure right? Haylee makes it so much better though. Georgie bothers me. Can she not see what's in front of her fucking face? Ugh. Anyway I am going to try and get some sleep. Good night.

 

1/9/14

He's talking to me.
I love him.
I just... this is my dream and my nightmare.
I am so scared.
Please love me.
I love you.

1/7/2014

Happy New Year...

"When I was young I knew everything
She a punk who rarely ever took advice
Now I'm guilt stricken,
Sobbing with my head on the floor
Stop a baby's breath and a shoe full of rice

I can't be held responsible
She was touching her face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and
We'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe
We'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen

My best friend took a week's
Vacation to forget her
His girl took a weeks's worth of
Valium and slept
And now he's guilt stricken sobbing with his
Head on the floor
Thinks about her now and how he never really
Wept he says

I can't be held responsible
She was touching her face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and
We'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe
We'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen

hey yeah
hey yeah
hey yeah

We've tried to wash our hands of all this
We never talk of our lacking relationships
And how we're guilt stricken sobbing with our
Heads on the floor
We fell through the ice when we tried not to
Slip, we'd say

I can't be held responsible
Cause she was touching her face
And I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and
We'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe
We'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and
We'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe
We'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen

We were only freshmen"

Kinda how I feel at the moment; it explains I guess. YPHP has gone slowly, a lot of incidents but better I guess... I'm still here... aren't I?

Also the crush I have is still there even if she has a significant other... I guess I'm fucked that way