3/22/2014

Well straight edge no more. Smoking has become a thing for me again. I currently have a cigarette in with my Pokemon cards. I've also turned to Pokemon as like my outlet. I have X and White 2. And that's just what I do. I'm still broken inside, Haylee helps but I don't think I can be fixed. I still check on Nick on Tumblr make sure he's doing alright. It's a terrible habit that pisses me off and depresses me but I always do it anyway. His stupid posts of why he's single, because when he talks. I fucking hate it. It just makes me hate myself even more. I made myself a pipe in art, and well it works. I'm probably going to end up decorating it with sharpie. I'm doing shitty in school, I cry a lot there. I'm always anxiety ridden and stressed out. Haylee is gone on like a camp trip since Friday and I miss her. Thursdays I go to the public library with Becca, John, Katie, and Kelly. But we've also had other people come like Kathan (a girl completely and utterly obsessed with my existence), Kelly's girlfriend Brianna, and Kayne. I'm bring Kayne sushi this next time, he's bring me a e-stick. Super excited! Becca and me have started kissing occasionally again, I can't decide whether I hate it, like it, love it, or am disgusted by it. I just hate life, it's too hard.